


A (Not So Very) Barbaric Christmas

by 411_axel



Category: South Park
Genre: Christmas, Férias, M/M, Skyrim References, Stick of Truth, secret santa gift
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-24
Updated: 2018-12-24
Packaged: 2019-09-26 11:44:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,809
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17141165
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/411_axel/pseuds/411_axel
Summary: Tweek has Feldspar join him and his tribe for the holidays.





	A (Not So Very) Barbaric Christmas

**Author's Note:**

> This is for @genku26 on tumblr! You wanted feldspar and barbarian Tweek so I delivered! I added a few skyrim references for fun, so there's that. Anyway, I Hope you like it!

Craig hummed to himself as he finished the knot on his latest trap. He had various traps set a cross his section of the forest. He used them for more reasons then to just keep people from invading his territory, some were specialized for animals like rabbits and other rodents so he would be able to have supper at the end of the day.

He stepped back to look at the slip knot trap he made. A simple loop on the ground hidden by leaves, when triggered it would send the victim up towards the top of the tree, securing them by the ankle. His traps never had indicators on them, they didn't sound when set off, so he had to check them to see if he had caught anything.

So, after making sure everything was tight and hidden, he went off on his daily patrol around his neck of the woods to see if he had caught anything. He knew where every trap of his was, so he skillfully trotted around, checking his traps. So far, no luck of anything, which was weird since rabbits ran a plenty through this certain clutch of trees.

He started stepping slower, looking around for any sign of life. _SNAP!_ Before he knew it, Craig was dangling by the ankle from some sort of trap. At first, he thought he triggered his own trap, but, that thought was quickly dismissed when he heard the bones clanging from above him. "Oh you're fucking kidding me." He groaned as he tried to climb up his leg to cut the rope, but was cut short by snickers sounding off in the distance.

Craig whipped his head to the bushes to find a familiar patch of blond hair. He relaxed at the non threatening figure, but a scowl can still be seen on his face as he crossed his arms and narrowed his eyes at the barbarian who was now emerging from where he was hiding.

Gaining his composure by clearing his throat, Tweek walked up to Craig and stood by him, crossing his own arms. "Still think I can't catch anything?" The blond asked smugly, smiling down at his captee. Craig scoffed, reaching down to grasp his hat that's fallen off his head. He meekly threw it at the barbarian, only getting a chuckle in return. "Let me down asshole." Craig spoke in his nastily monotone.

Tweek rolled his eyes and laughed a bit as he cut the thief down, sending the poor fool to the ground with a thud. Craig laid there a moment before he sat up and grabbed his hat to dust it off. Securing the hat on his head, the taller of the two stood up, his arms crossed again.

The two stood in silence a moment before Craig chose to break it. "You're better at that than I thought, I'll give you that." The barbarian smiled at the compliment and was about to say something before the thief cut him off. "Do that again though, I'm breaking your bow." Instantly, Tweek grew defensive. "Hey! Leave my poor bow alone, it did nothing to you!"

The bow that the barbarian kept in tip top shape was a present from the old chief of his tribe, which he now ruled over, as is the tradition of the family line. Tweek didn't necessarily like being the chief, but it came with perks, and plus, he got help from his tribe and even Craig helped sometimes. Which is why he was here in the first place, he had something to tell the thief.

Perking up with excitement, the young chief grasped Craig by the shoulders. "Craig-feldspar- dude!" He shook the others shoulders a bit until Craig put his hands on the barbarians, intertwining his fingers with the blond and looking to their eyes. "Tweek, calm down, what is it?" The raven haired male asked with his head slightly tilted in interest. The excited barbarian bounced in his spot a moment before speaking.

"It's ferias! It's- it's- uh- oh! It's like- like Christmas for your people! And, and I uh.. I want you to... To come s-spend it with..with me." His excited stammering turned into shy stuttering as he looked off to the side timidly, a blush lightly dancing across his face. Craig smiled at the other, even after they have been going out for about a full moon cycle, the other was always so shy about certain things. The thief thought it was adorable.

"Christmas huh? In the middle of Suns hight?" He playfully teased, to which the barbarian gave a halfhearted glare. "It is for my people." He simply replied, pout present on his face. Chuckling, Craig nodded. "Of course I'll spend it with you. Do I need to bring something?" This made Tweek perk up, an excited smile on his face.

"Well- since I'm the Chief, I need to hunt something big to bring back for a feast!" Craig rose a brow at the blond. "That sounds like harvest, Tweek." He dead panned, making the smaller cross his arms and narrow his eyes at the other. "If I can finish, _feldspar_." Craig put his hands up in surrender, waiting for the other to continue. "While I do _that_ , the tribes people make things for each other. Like, bows or baskets, y'know? A-And we sit and exchange them with each other. The beast the chief kills is like their gift for all of them, a few days of food. The tribes people usually make weapons or clothes of animal skin for the chief. No one has to though- not if they don't want to."

Tweek spoke fast and had to take a few quick breaths to settle down. Craig, meanwhile, took a moment to process all of the information. Once he felt he got the basics of it all, he spoke up. "So, what do you want me to do?" He asked and Tweek hesitated a moment. "I'd like you to come down and meet with my tribe. You- you don't have to-!" Craig interrupted him by putting his hands on the barbarians shoulders. "I want to. Do I make stuff for them, or..?" Tweek thought a moment. "If you want, choose someone at random I guess? It's gonna be a couple days man. Oh- I-is that alright? I-I got to have a few days to hunt something- I-" Craig squeezed Tweek's shoulders, making the barbarian stop his speaking.

"That's fine. It gives me more time to make stuff, yeah?" Craig nodded to the other. Tweek smiled and put his hands on the others arm, bouncing in his place. "Come on, let's go, I'm set to leave soon! I'll have someone show you around!" He spoke excitedly, taking the thief's hand and dashing off toward his village.

 

 

  
Once at the village, Craig took his time to observe it. There were huts built from sticks and animal hides, most of them were a medium size, while there was one big hut with an impressive set of elk horns set above the door. He could see most of the tribes people gathered around an impressive looking fire pit.

Tweek led Craig down to the village, and strait to a rather tall (taller than Craig even, and he's 6'3) brown haired barbarian. He had rather simple war paint on, mostly bands instead of the stripes like Tweek and some other barbarians had. "Zar!" Tweek greeted, and the man in question turned around, smiling when he saw his chief.

Craig watched as the two talked to each other in their own language before Tweek turned to him. "This is Zar, a childhood friend and right hand man. He'll show you around. Now I gotta go- I have to get ready to head out." Craig nodded as the blond went over to the big hut, leaving the two alone.

"Hello, Feldspar, right? Our chief has many stories with you." Zar greeted, hands on his hips as he looked down at the thief. Craig nodded, straitening his back and extending a hand to the other. "Nice to meet you, Zar, I've heard about you as well." Zar looked down at Craig's extended hand, a look of confusion on his face. Seeing the others expression, Craig dropped his hand.

It wasn't long before Tweek emerged from his hut, wearing an animal skin vest like thing, along with a bag and quiver on his back and, of course, his trusty bow. He went up to a small platform that raised up off the ground so he could address his tribe. He spoke barbaric to his clan, at the end of his speech, the clan cheered. The blond smiled, moving his eyes to Craig. "See you soon feldspar, I- I gotta go!" He called out, whistling for his trusty mare, which was a black and white war like horse. Once she was near, Tweek jumped on her and road off with a war cray, which his clan returned.

Once Tweek was gone, the tribe started to split up, some sat outside of huts and weaved or carved, others went out to the woods on foot. Zar looked down to Craig. "I assume you want a place to rest?" He asked. Craig nodded and followed after Zar when he started walking off. Craig was surprised to be lead to the large hut. "Tweek has instructed me to give you his bed while he is gone. You must be really special to be even allowed in here." Zar mentioned as he opened the animal skin-like door.

Walking in, Craig looked around. There was a decent sized bed to the left corner of the room, a bear skin rug in the middle of the hut, to the right, there was a dresser base of wood. A small table set to the left, with a few arrows and daggers messily set on it. Craig smiled at the slight messiness of the hut, a few articles of clothing on the floor and some half-done arrows around the table on the floor.

Zar let Craig observe the room a bit before he cleared his throat to get his attention. "Craig. Let us go tour the rest of the village, you can rest soon, I assure you. Craig nodded and followed Zar out to venture around the rest of the village.

 

- _two days later_ -

Tweek wiped his brow from sweat as he finished loading up his trusty horse, sweet-roll. He had hunted down a big elk, who was currently draped across the back of Sweet-roll. He hopped up on the mare and kicked his heels, sending the horse off on a trot.

It didn't take long to get back to his village, where a couple of his tribes people signaled his return. Some of the tribes people helped with the elk while others gathered everybody else up to start ferias. It was a few hours in and Tweek was starting to wonder where Craig was, he hadn't seen him at all. He wandered through the sea of mingling barbarians and soon found his right hand man, Zar. "Hey, Zar!" He called, catching the lesser barbarians attention. "Chief! How was the hunt?" He asked, smiling at the smaller. "It was good, but uh, have you seen Feldspar?" Zar thought a moment before answering. "Yeah, he's off doing... Whatever he's doing. That guy doesn't talk much." Tweek felt himself smile a little at that, how like Feldspar. That settled his nerves a little bit, but they were still there.

It wasn't long before the elk was skinned and prepared, it now was being roasted over the fire. Tweek was brushing down his horse, cooing to the mare as he did so. He didn't notice the footsteps behind him. "Hey Tweek." Came a monotoned voice, which startled the young barbarian. He wiped around with his hand clutched on his chest and his breathing rapid. Once he saw the familiar image of Feldspar, he let out a sigh as he tried to calm himself down.

"What's wrong with you! I-ngh- I could've had a heart attack!" He huffed, lightly hitting the thief on the arm. "Sorry, didn't mean to scare you." He had a smirk on his face, which the barbarian chose to ignore. "Where were you anyway? I couldn't find you anywhere." He asked instead, patting his mare, who stood basically still through the whole ordeal. Craig went to the front of the mare, reaching a hand out, he pet her nose, to which she let out a snort and Craig smiled. "I was out finishing stuff." He gave a shrug, continuing to pet Tweek's horse. "Whats their name?" He asked, looking to Tweek.

The barbarian smiled, patting the back of his horse as he spoke. "Her names Sweet-roll. She responds to Sweetie though." Craig nodded and looked back to the mare. "Hey there Sweetie, you taking good care of your owner here?" He cooed, resting his forehead against the mares'. He continued to coo to the horse before he heard foot steps aproaching. He and Tweek looked over to see Zar standing there. " _Chief, the feast is ready_." He spoke in barbaric, and Tweek responded the same before sending Zar off and looking to Craig. "It's time for the feast, after that we sit around a fire and exchange presents." He informed, and Craig nodded in response.

Tweek hitched his horse near the circle of barbarians, where a few other horses stood as well. He then led Craig to a spot in the circle, near him but a few people away since tradition had the higher ranking barbarians sitting together. From there, some of the tribes women served food around on little hand made wooden plates, which contained meat and corn. There were no utensils or napkins, but the tribe, after Tweek said what Craig presumed was a blessing, dug in anyway. Craig looked around and gave a shrug before he rolled up his sleeves and started to eat with his hands. It felt kinda nice to not have to worry about manners for once, he thought.

After the feast, everyone was dismissed to go get the gifts they've made for each other. Craig hid his stuff in a tree, he had made three different presents for three different people. They were small enough he could bring all three with him back to the circle. After everyone was back to the circle, it was starting to get dark. But that wasn't a problem for the fire they had, it was big enough to provide the heat and light needed, but y'know, small enough not to set the forest on fire.

They went from one side of the circle to the other, Craig had made a little backpack thing to carry a baby for one of the tribes women who had an infant, and made a wooden dagger for one of the children. But he also made something for the chief, a crown made of antlers and stems from a rose bush. The antlers had small intricate engravings on it, making it look fancy and official. Tweek's face lit up when he saw the crown. "I noticed you didn't have a crown, and, I don't know if you guys really even wear crowns but, I thought it'd be nice anyway." Craig said, letting Tweek take the crown from him to examine it. The barbarian soon put on the crown, it nestling perfectly atop of his head. "Feldspar.. I-I don't know what to say, I love it." Craig smiled, patting Tweek on the shoulder. "I'm glad. It looks great on you."

After everyone was done exchanging gifts, they sung some songs and told some stories until it was time to diverse and go back to their own tents and huts. Tweek invited Craig into his hut, who accepted happily. Once in the hut, Tweek noticed a quiver with a bunch of arrows in it. On closer inspection, he saw the arrows were barbed at the end. Craig smiled a bit as he saw Tweek looking at them. "I just thought you could use some more, I had left over wood and stuff." He spoke, his face going a light pink.

The barbarian smiled and set the arrows at the foot of his bed before he made his way to Craig. "Your the best, Craig." He spoke, wrapping Craig up in an embrace. He stared down at the thief's eyes lovingly for a moment before he lent down and gave the other a pacinate, loving kiss, which was also their first kiss, to which Craig was ecstatic and happily kissed back.

The two stayed up cooing to each other on Tweek's bed until late in the night, where their sleepiness took them over and they fell into pleasant dreams, holding each other close. They wouldn't have spent their holiday any other way.

  
End.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to all who read this, hope y'all liked it!


End file.
